Autobiography

I can’t see what others want me to believe
But I envision how I want myself to be perceived
I’ve been longing for that restitution
From the world’s loss of time, that lack of solution
My body is tired of fighting for the world to understand me
The blind man knows the truth, even when he can’t see
My skin is scarred from the gashes of their lies
But I’m back and I’m still standing, call this my uprise
Rest assured that your beauty will never fade
But what would you do if it had never been made?
At times, these storms have consumed my mind
I’ve lost a part of myself that I never knew, I guess that’s what I’m still trying to find
It hasn’t given me a break since the day that I started
But I knew the reason why as soon as we parted
My heart contains endless plates of steel
And then sometimes I wonder why it’s so hard to feel?
I’ve built myself up so high, even to the sky
I’ve touched the clouds and have gone so far, even to feel them cry
I’ve given them hope for matters that seem the most unwilling
The dreams, those passions, the things that I’m still in the process of fulfilling
I’ve watched every aspect of the world constantly change
It’s been so long that I’ve seen every pattern rearrange
I wish someone would have told me that love wasn’t simple
But it has left such a deep mark in my soul, label it my dimple
So, I suppose life is the puzzle, and we are just the pieces
However, without one, the other’s importance just decreases
On this earth, nothing will ever be new
The hard truth is, is that you will never have a debut
There isn’t enough time to be conceited
You can’t see your face twice, even if everything in this world is repeated
I’ve been longing for some kind of definite understanding
To complete those wondering souls that are so demanding
Everything in my life happens to be so contradictory
I’ve lost without winning, an unannounced victory
At times, they call on me to use my wings
Her voice propels my flight as she softly sings
His warm embrace entangles all of my emotions
Like a witch's brew mixed with all the eclectic potions
Slowly, I make my way into the unknown
Invisible hearts have been neatly stitched together and sewn
I’ve pressed my face against the glass to see my reflection
My flaws have aligned themselves to show my imperfection
In the end, I see the image of man striving towards vanity
And a single dream has raced against time to change humanity

our traveled road

over the past few weeks, i can't eat. i can't sleep. lost over 10 pounds. i can't type with this stupid band aid on my finger. I'm having severe anxiety. i can't think straight. minus the band aid thing, i guess these are the withdrawal symptoms of you.

I'm tired.
you say that i need time to think, but in this condition, it has been nearly impossible. i have gotten a few thoughts in my head here and there--most have slipped away, but, one in particular, one very crazy, meaningful, endless, yet boundless thought has stayed in my mind through this whole complicated mess.

that i want to be with you, no matter what.
those words have been in my head since the day that i met you, since the day that we broke up, and until this very day.

i don't know when we are supposed to be together.
people tell me to wait, people tell me to do what my heart tells me, but my heart tells me to just be with you.
in all actuality, my heart has been pretty quiet lately. i think it's testing me, to see if i'm actually dumb enough to listen to my head.
i'm naturally analytical. i think stuff out. i don't normally go with my heart, but how contradictory, considering that I love so hard.

i feel like i'm on a path where i'm not sure where i'm going, but im letting time do its thing--and that's not at all in my nature. it's hard for me not to plan things out. i can't just "go with the flow" as you aries and scorpios (goldi and jelisa)say it. i get jealous, when y'all can do that, because yall can adjust to anything that comes yall's way without a split hesitation, versus, me...i have to wait it out.

so, i apologize that i have confused you, but i am confused. see, what you fail to keep locked in your mind, is that i don't want to not be with you and i don't want to have to wait again, but it's scary for me to go down a road where nothing is for certain. that's your nature, not mine.

it was last night that you told me for the first time that you thought we could be together through your deployment. no other time was i certain that you thought or even wanted to be together through the deployment. you said you would improve, but as far i knew, you didnt know where we were going to go, either. so you can't blame me fully for being confused.

it makes me upset how you yell at me for confusing you twice, but what you fail to forget is, just a couple of days ago, you confused me twice. think about it. yet i'm still always here, patiently waiting.

no matter how much you hurt me, no matter how much i guess with you, no matter how much you confuse me, i am still here, always.

doesn't that tell you something?
because if it doesn't, then open your eyes.

i'm sorry for always changing my mind, but you would too, if you have seen what i've seen and been through what i've been through.
you think that i change my mind because that's what i want, but it's not. i change my mind because i know what i want, but i'm just not sure if it will benefit everyone in the end---> there's my planning, again.

I'm not a selfish person, and never have been. if anything, for the longest time, I have been doing things for other people and not enough for myself.

i know that it has hurt you, loving me. & it pains me so bad when you say that, because loving someone should never hurt, like it hurt you.

But i guess, through it all, i am like you, because it has hurt me, loving you.

what's love when it doesn't hurt, sometimes?

i am scared of losing you.
i am scared of not being with you.
i am scared that you will go off and find someone else.
i am scared that later down the road you're not going to want me anymore.


i don't know if it's right, but I'm scared that we're altering fate. I don't know if fate is telling us to be together, or to not be together, but i feel like we're changing something. I'm not sure, if it's good or bad. hm.

anyways, another thing...

you get mad when i say that i don't want to be friends, but it offends me when you offer to be friends. When i say that i don't want to be your "buddy", it doesn't mean that i don't want to be anything, it means that i can't stand being just your friend. Why would you ever want to go back to those 4 years? i hated those 4 years of watching you do what you do, and you watch me. it was dumb, and it wasted time. I know you figure that if we can't be anything, we mine as well not be nothing, and be friends. But that's not how i view it. To me, it's being with you, or not. there's no in between after what we have been through, at least not right after being with someone, that doesn't make sense to me. it would just hurt both of us all over again. so, you can get offended all you want, but you need to understand what I'm saying.

you say you hurt all the time, and you just put it away in your stomach, but it doesn't go away, and it doesn't stay in your stomach. i know you. and i know pain. it's eating at you until you find some way to dispel of it--outside of your body.
i know this sounds crazy, but I'm scared that all that pain that you haven't thrown away is going to come back up, and you're not going to want me...or somehow use it against me. i know you wouldn't do that, but it's a fear.

i want you to stop blaming yourself for everything to, because if anything it has been both of our faults. yet, everything has happened for a reason.

i hate when you say, "leave you in the dust", because i know there have been times where i ran out the backdoor to escape the pain with you, but never have i ever completely left you, because i am still here today, through everything. I'll be bluntly honest with you, i could have left a while ago, but I'm still here.

you say you'll change, and i know it takes time, and I'm willing to make time to be patient in order to see that alteration, but i want to see it. you don't know how it felt to see you change in the first place, and expect someone that was long gone. i know that changing is from the inside out, but if it's not too much to ask, start with the little things and then move to the big things--like seeing me more, hanging out with me more, talking to me more. you say that you can see me when you wanted, but when you're deployed you won't be able to see me for a year...so then see me all that you can, while we still have time.

i told you that i will always be here, no matter what...and look at me. look at what we've been through, and look at what we're facing. and she is still standing there, in the same place, no matter how much she hurts, no matter how much she got confused, she never moved her feet--and that should tell you about the type of person that i am.

so, must i reiterate?

without any more hesitations, doubts, or confusion. i am sure. there isn't anyone else that I'd rather be with, and there isn't anyone else that i would want to love to the extent of which i love you.

i am not used to change, and this is what everything is, so I'm changing that part of myself too--so you're not alone.

i've been fighting for every minute for us to be together and for our relationship to last--a huge part of fighting is sometimes feeling like giving up and backing down, only because i've been fighting for so long and there hasn't been immediate results, but like i said, i'm not going to give up, and i'm going to remain patient.

i want us to be happy with one another, and stable.

every part of our relationship, has been complicated, but every minute of it, has been worth it, and i hope i can say the same farther down the road, in which we will travel.


i love you, CRB.

we were meant to live for so much more.

So many tears. Such anger. So much wasted time. I don’t know what to do anymore. This has happened so many times, am I supposed to be used to these types of things? If not, then I am. If I am, then I guess I am where I’m supposed to be. I expected you to be the potential that I remembered what you were from before, but I guess that potential slipped from your own grasp and you fell. You disappointed me. I made you so different in my mind and my heart, but now you are aligned with the rest of them because of your mistake. We can’t be friends. I don’t want to be just friends. Part of me wants to forget you, and all of you. But I know that I can’t or I just don’t want to. Why did you have to go and do that? You always live through your fears instead of just fighting them. I put so much away with you. I know sometimes I worried, but it was because of stuff like this; in the back of my mind, something told me to run as quick as I can, and I just shoved that bad feeling to the back of my mind. A couple of things foreshadowed this moment, but I didn’t listen to my instincts. You’re so stubborn, but I loved you for that. I loved every part of you with all my heart, and you knew that. I enjoyed every moment with you, but those moments keep being scratched away by the pain. Words can’t explain how much you hurt me, and you will never understand. You waited so long for me and I waited so long for you, and when the time finally came, I took it, but you let it go. Why? If you didn’t want me, you shouldn’t have said yes. You said you loved me, but I guess I couldn’t believe it fully, because I felt like deep down, I knew this would happen. You don’t love me, but I love you. I don’t want you to go, I didn’t want you to go, but I had to let you, or you would never learn. It pains me so much, but i know i deserve much better. I just want to talk to you, but I can’t—it hurts even doing that. I felt as if I have done so much for you, and all that has been taken away and thrown on the ground, only to be stomped on. You've watched me get hurt by other people so much, and it only continued. The funny thing is, is that you told me that you would protect me no matter what, but what do you do when you're the one who's hurting me the most? You have changed so much, and I don’t know if I like it, I don’t like it. The old you would have never treated me like that. I want to hate you, but I can’t. I’m hoping on our future, but I don’t think there is a future for us. I’m tired of hoping with you, and it just goes opposite. So, I’ll remain hopeless. Just don’t feel sorry for me, I’m not the one who should be in that place. I just pray that you learn from your mistakes. But one thing that I do want, is a direct apology, not “I take the blame”, because you should, I did nothing to you. A heart-felt “I’m sorry for…” would do, but I don’t think I’ll ever get it. So, I’m leaving now. This is my good-bye. I wish you well.

is it enough?

confined, defined i am by major movements. i try to alter and adjust my ways, is it enough to call it an improvement? i wouldn't stop the world, but i would do enough to move it...just a little, we're always in the center of this place, but is it enough to call it the middle? I try to create a masterpiece from the creations of my heart, but I always find a way to stop in order to start. I can't make you see all the things that I do, it comes with time and time will come with you. everything that life gives us will always be in a circular pattern, you say it doesn't make sense, but if that's case, gaze at the rings of Saturn...for a minute, he asks me, what's in it? what's in it for you, I said nothing, I guess it's just simple math- 1+ 1 will always be 2.  they say distance makes the heart grow fonder, his presence is labeled, "he who moves beyond her", they say you can't alter fate, but the thing is, it has no sense of time or direction, it's always late. i want you to stay within my memories, I'll take a million mental pictures just for you to stay within my mind, you try cover up your heart with stones, but it still remains kind. see, I'm trying to open your eyes to a new light, we tend to learn by ear and not by sight. I strive for perfection, in-depth analysis to place inside my reflection. so, I want it to last, we're becoming more victorious with each moment, optimism steps on our raging past. I guess within every word now, I've been trying to make you mine, i know sometimes you can be stuck in your ways, but the question is, is it enough to make you change your mind?

The Contingency of Our Love

Our spirits weep with joy
Ailing for a timeless matter to occur
Arriving in a place of contingency
Uncertainty fills our eyes
We are blinded by what we don’t know
Our fears seep into our hearts
Distance falls between our hands
The wind cries for our separation
He howls from behind the clouds
People gather to watch only what they wanted to happen
These humans, so insignificant to us
Gathering around in envy and misunderstanding
The trees have become our barrier
Towards the horizon of the setting sun,
We run on opposite sides
Searching for a way to get through to one another
Tears pour out of my skin,
I am drowned by an endless amount of sentiments
The sea of my passions suddenly reaches your feet
Beyond those tall wooden beings you go
Floating amongst my soul and the desires that we both long for
My hand reunites with yours
Our hearts have conjoined
Now, we race amongst a shouting crowd
In our mind, we have conquered something so infinite
We push against time
To reach only what the eyes of the beloved can see
Your body curves within the contours of mine
As we leap towards faith
The crowd has disappeared
And time has flown ahead with the infinite by its side
This path
The path of our reasoning
Of our purpose
Of love’s meaning
Is beyond a chance of possibilities
Its identity has been swept away
By other forces of fidelity
And we are walking amongst a story untold
Creating our own endless line of words
That holds our only discernment
For the compassionate labyrinth
That we have taken amongst our vitality
The minutes glance at us with controlling eyes
Inept with the presence of our intense veneration
Reminding us of the strife that we have endured
Waiting for us to make a decision
That is within our measure of control
Beyond curiosity and into a venue of avidity
We rhythmically place our steps together
Upon this haven of earth
Forward we walk
Into the silhouette of our heart’s radiance
And we have sealed the fondness of our souls
With time and the infinite by our side

a false kiss to reality

It's amazing how this world is truly a circle, inside and out.
at the beginning, i was so into you.
but as time grew on and I knew that all you could see was her, I backed away.
still, you were all that I could think about for the longest time...
i longed for your kiss...
until i found someone else, he hurt me.
you were all i wanted, but you were so consumed by her and her silliness.
she told you to escape from me, and you did.
i threw the pieces of you away after that moment.
i found someone else, and he hurt me.
you came back and I couldn't see you in the same light.
friends were all that we were.
secretly, I wanted you...
...every part of you.
we kissed again and it was false.
i couldn't feel what I wanted to feel or what you wanted to me to feel.
but i knew something was there.
i ran so far away.
i found someone else, he hurt me too.
i wanted to give up.
you wrote me a letter down the line and i melted.
so many emotions ran within me.
and I realized how much you loved me.
at the second, something told me to give it a try.
and i did.
you make me happy.
it's just now I'm scared how long it will last.
i don't want you to leave.
I'm starting to love you more each day, but i wont tell you that.
sometimes, my words tend to reverse after their spoken.
so i'll wait until my heart tells me that it's time.
for once, I'm thinking with my heart, instead of my head.
you have my heart.
it's amazing how a simple kiss can't tell you everything what's in your heart.
and yet, it's amazing how a false kiss can lead you to reality.
this world is a circle, and I'm not sure if this is the end, but at this point, the world has brought me back to you...
and i am so thankful.


song for you: Hope-Bring me flowers

A Thousand Souls

By: Tammara Sutton

Alteration amongst endless words
Disappearing into a realm unknown
Savory and momentany expectations
Failed upon the rocks that simply roll into a deep blue ocean
Composed of aimless currents and false hopes
Ill-fated roses meaning nothing but of a crimson color
Passion fades into the horizon and decends with the breath of the sun
Undermining attachment excavating the mind
Drawing a blank to insignificant perceptual matters
Left in solitude with a thousand souls
The souls of the hopeless beloved
Somehow hoping to reconcile a past rendezvous
A pinch of doubt escapes our measly bodies
Expecting in the least, a light from afar
To illuminate within our eyes, connecting the path that
We have all once taken
Astray we go unto the shore, once more
Searching for lost time,
We become more wayward by a timid impulse
More anxious this whim swirls
Through the thick sandy breeze of sentiment
Pessimism reigns the staggering contemplation
With whom should it devour now
We press our ears to the empty shell
The shell of which holds each of our hearts
The shell of which lingers the sound of our dreams
The shell that allures our every sense of meaning
And we have all convened, once more
Upon our listless words and emotions
Hopeless we are, but hopeful,
We are bound together by the time
That has escaped from our hands
And into the shell of our beloved souls

The Message In My Bottle

By: Tammara Sutton

I didn’t even know you that well
And it seems that I have
Everything in the world to tell you
The words reversely dance from my lips
And hide beneath my tongue
I am speechless
You were like a message in a bottle
You contained all the secrets
That I’m dying to know
But now, you have drifted off
Out to sea
To be found by someone else
Who isn’t me
I remember what you said to me
But your emotions are lost
They hid you from yourself
She buried you alive
Why are you in the center of my grave?
I just can’t seem to understand your purpose
Your touch is so faint now
And your understanding lacks
I will not move any longer
For you have once broken my glass
When you sailed off amongst the sea
I see you everywhere
Except, it’s not really you
But an allusion to you
How could the world stand so peacefully
When I have fires burning within me?
Those red lights flash within the distance,
They always did, but I grew used to them
The nights are weary without you, for you are off to sea
Underneath the water, in a vessel that from which our
chemistry flows
Do you know what I mean by all of this?
Are you aware of the damage that you caused
But yet, the joy that you brought me?
As the trees began to lose their leaves,
You began to gain the knowledge,
Of which would captivate my mind
You captured me
And held me close
But quickly enough, we dispersed from ourselves
And were carried away with the truth of time
The smell of the fire burning within your house
Was familiar
I was the endeavour burning within your significance
And I continue burning
Everything tastes so bland now
And the world looks so still
But calm, yet so very calm
My skin has remembered you
However, my heart has seemed
To have forgotten
For it is bounded to the message floating adrift
In your bottle
Amongst the empty sea

Within a Single Cup

By: Tammara Sutton


Within a single cup
Is some sort of mysterious liquid
Composed of small resting particles
Unevenly arranged with the other
However, within a single cup,
Is a risk that I'm willing to take
My contemplation heightens
As I wonder whether there will be a new taste each time?
or will it just stay the same?
My mouth purses mockingly
As if to soon feel the edge of the cup
Amongst the extendedly parched lips of mine
The substance freely trapped within the cup, seems to be
a conformity of surrounding matter
The indulgent liquid is boundless, having no direct path,
it can go anywhere
But why does it choose to stay in the cup unless it's tipped over?
Tipped over for no purpose at all,
accidental or perhaps possibly perpetual?
As to say if the light plastic cup
dramatically met with the carpet, such as if they
were joined apon "love at first-sight"?
Would another risk slowly seep from within the round object
and be discovered by someone else or something with an enticing
desire and temptation to intake the substance within it's or their own
hands amongst their mouth?
Or possibly to have the illusion of it being yet another mess
in which to clean up from the listless fabric?
Whatever the case, the substance will be consumed, it's just a matter of time
before a consequence follows the risk, rather it be a refreshing presence
upon the buds of taste or amongst the endless floor of possibilities...

Forgotten Love

Time is passing…
Carry me beyond the flowers
Lay me gently on the soft grass
Let me feel that breeze of warmth on my shoulders
Rest your hand against my heart
Feel the part that has been shattered the most
Hear my heart beat within your heart
Call out to me
Tell me something worth listening to
My eyes may be closed
But I promise I’m still here
I’m still listening
Go ahead
Tell me…


You say to me how you dreamt of me during the night
How I was there in your dreams
And when you woke, I disappeared
You say to me how everything used to matter so much to you
But now, everything is meaningless when I’m gone
You say to me how you cried for the first time
Simply because I wasn’t there
You say to me how you longed for my touch
And my presence
You tell me how when you looked up into the sky one night,
You happened to imagine my face right there, surrounded by the stars
You say to me how much you really miss me and love me
I tried to search for something to say
But I couldn’t say anything
I wanted to say how much I loved you back
But for some reason, those three words have been lost from my vocabulary
I keep asking myself why you came back
Why you decided to realize everything now
It was like you read my mind
Because you said to me how everything wrong you did…
Was a mistake
Everything you said that hurt me, were words without meaning
That all the promises you made me
Were words without application.
And that every time you looked me in the eyes…
You never really saw me, but instead, saw right through me
Everything hit me at that moment
All the lies you told, all the mistakes you made, all the promises you never kept
Made me forget how to love you
It’s been so long since I was actually happy
And when you did everything in the world to break me
I shattered
And when I shattered
Your love fell into a million pieces on the ground
Along with my heart
So now
I lay before you in a place of peace
With my eyes wide open
And all I want you to do
Is to look me into the eyes
See me for who I am
And walk away

Genuinely Geometric

I’m the circle
That surrounds you
Exemplified by a simple emotion
Crisply round amongst the life that you live
I’m the circle
That cannot be broken
Defined by the strength of fear
That resides within each curved line
I’m the circle
That is shaded all throughout
Opaquely arranged
For the insight of your vision
I’m the circle
That is of significance
Delivered by a simplistic theory
To further explain the importance of your being
I’m the circle
That mirrors your reflection
Radiating beyond an incomparable measure
Of an image balanced by veracity
I’m the circle
That explains what is unknown
Diffidently depicting the conformity of matter
Above the inept promises of the world
I’m the circle
That breathes the last breath of reality
Forming sensitivity to the vague understanding
Of what was once present
And I’m the circle
That is only made to secure
The vulnerability of want against fact
Shielding you from the wonders of pain
Guarding you from myself…
A circle of desirable truth

Comparably Lovely

A differential
Emotion beyond most emotions of love
Contrastably
Compromising between meaning
In deep search for a reason
As to how this came about
Lacking feeling
But gaining stability
Wanting to disable the words
Of speaking too soon
But they trickle out
Like water out of clouds
Constant pessimism
Continuous contemplation
Just never knowing what to do
It’s insanity within eight letters
And happiness within three words
It is something so strong
But weak if not handled properly
Such a feeling
Is never prepared
Never thought out
And never planned
It just arrives like the seasons
When the time is right
It brings such fear and unclearness
Like fog covering a window
When vision is trying to see through
But
It’s like the moon at night
Such darkness once surrounded
But the moon quickly peers through
And shines it’s radiance amongst
The dark
Lighting up the sky
As to lighting up the memories
And quickly fading them away
So the moment has come
Not sure if it’s what it’s supposed to be
But it feels good
It’s like all the secrets have seeped out
And are ready to be revealed
The words finally define themselves
But never have a true meaning
Instead, it is just plainly spoken and meant for the moment
And the moment will last
By eight letters
And three words
“I love you”

In Depth

Strangle me in depth of your affection
It’s more than words, but a misperception
A mishap along the way
Maybe even more than words could say
A deepness in commodity
Or a intensity to grow outta me
Like a stumble but not a fall
Like a telephone but not a call
The piercing of my eyes
Tranquilizes the breath of my sighs
Actions of rememberance, no longer in tact
Give me a moment to see if I can renact
Nostalgia takes me over
I just wish I could be sober
Of all the pain that once came
Nevertheless, it’s still the same
Emotions and feelings
I hope to handle these dealings
Of psychological imbalance
Praying, that I continue this stance
Of apatheticness
Or maybe I lack knowledge of this
Ignorance is bliss
I’m coming back to my senses
Longing for the expectation that all this rinses
Out from beneath my skin
Replenish me from this strangled sin
So that I can live freely again

Corruption

Encapsulate
Encapsulate
Encapsulate
Take
Take
Take me
Take me over
Run
As fast as you can
I’m right
I’m right
Behind you
Keep running
Suppress me to your heart
Objectives cease to stop you
Let me conquer you
Let me rule your inner palace
Spin
Spin
Like a whirlwind of me
Breathe
Keep breathing
Don’t run out of breath
I’ll take your power
Lean you back
And put you to rest
Put you to rest
Beneath the flowers
Flowers
Keep running
Are you there yet?
I am
You’re trapped
Go another way
I’m still there
I’m chasing you
Can’t you tell?
Shh
Don’t scream
Nobody will help you
I’m right behind you
Keep running
Keep your secrets within your eyes
Don’t let me look
No
Don’t let me look in your eyes
I’ll steal ‘em and run
Will you chase me?
I’ll keep breathing
Will you conquer me?
Will you rule my inner palace?
Will you put me to rest?
Beneath the flowers?
Flowers?
Beneath the flowers?
I’m still running after you

Away From It All

By: Tammara Sutton

Like some words,
I was just written
I had no verbal context
Like paper,
I crumbled
And fell
Unto the depths of the ground
It was like I was paralyzed
My body had no meaning to move
From the place in which I lied
The fears of my soul
Disabled me from running
The resolution keeps
Escaping my hands
Releasing this tension
Of an inadequacy so low
That it leaves me characterless
I doubt my ability to act
As a human
For I am foreign now
I don’t belong where I am
With the age outweighing time
Or where mind is greater than my heart
I tremble for an explanation
As to why my imperfections
Blind my eyes
Restraining me from where I need to look
For an answer that is much too far away
I’m pressing delete now
Erasing the mistakes
The parts I don’t like
The words that don’t fit
I’m going back to the paragraphs that were written before
Trying to understand what made me this way
Trying to change the center of destruction
The place where all else fails when everything is lost
The place where all the meaningful words
Spill out my mind
And inscript themselves into the heartless air
The place where the crumbled paper falls
And hides among the shadows
Of a destruction that is of my own

Breakfast Wonders

By: Tammara Sutton

I grimace upon the standards
Exchanging such a gesture of my face
With listless words that
Begin to stack themselves high
Like pancakes on a plate
Pouring the syrup of perspicacity
Upon the fluffy build up of broken phrases
I needlessly choke on the utterance of such expressions
That I hold my heart, hoping to reconcile
The sharp movement of this message
I glance around in such embarrassment
That an indecisive look began to overtake
My simple humiliation
That was of course, complicated by these established
Levels of accepted verbal consequences
I subdued myself to learn a lesson
Within these few minutes of fright and intentional warning
And that lesson was to accept what is accustomed
Or defiantly walk away with no knowledge gained
And I chose the lesson of safety and indifference
And that was to stay and listen
Hoping to further gain insight by “digesting” the unexpected words of life
Or better said “the pancakes dripping in syrup”