the irony of what you start and what you finish

Contemptuously and often,
The end surpasses the beginning
The outline of her eyes have dimmed
Like fallen lights
There is no meaning
There are no more existing ideas
As to how she should pursue her grounds
She has drained herself
She has made no room for those ideologies
For those beliefs in things that have never been
Directly proved
For those hopes that have always failed her
Laughed at her
Mocked her
And that have trained her to be
As open as a book
They often have read and turned her pages
And closed her every sense of being,
Once they were finished
Her heart has bellowed
She is a human ellipsis

To be changed by another,
Other than one’s own-self,
Causes false identity


She is carrying her bones in a bag
Watching them drag along the earth
Her demeanor is no longer of consistency
She has melted
Parts of her drip onto the earth
But she doesn’t turn back to look
At how she is missing
She stops and stares
But all she sees is the end
And as she walks further
Ironically, every part of her has melted right back
To the beginning
While, nothing approaches the end

Legendary Love

There’s always a gaping hole
That I’m fighting to fill
Whether it’s in the world or if it’s in my heart
I have been in so many wars
With myself, just to protect myself
From all the distress
I’ve seen the hearts of many
I loved them, each in a different way,
But when the disillusionment seeped
From my pupils, and into
This abstract pulsating entity,
I could see it all, I could feel it all
They didn’t want me to see
They didn’t want me to hear the words that boomed
From their insides like thunder raging through the clouds
Sometimes I wonder how I still know how to love
Sometimes I’m proud of myself
And other times, I am ashamed
Ashamed that I love hard
Ashamed that I see the heartless creatures roaming around
In search for one to crush
And I naively, leave my heart resting on my sleeve
It’s almost as if something in me gives me an unlimited supply of hearts
Each time, one is destroyed
And I hurry to pick up the pieces myself,
A new one is formed
But something tells me that one day there aren’t going
To be anymore waiting for me
There aren’t going to be anymore to help me hide the pain
I can feel it
Some days, my heart beats slower than it used to
I have concealed all that I felt once broke me
Into some kind of reliquary beyond these smiles and hopeful eyes
When that day comes
My wrath will unveil itself,
From behind that beautiful curtain
Oh, and what disillusionment there will be
I will spread my flaming fires unto them
I will mount mirrors up everywhere
That show their true reflections
I will break the bad bones of their fathers and mothers
That are to blame for the way they feel, for they way they express
What has been buried in their genes
And once everything is in a favorable position
I will shatter into pieces and my love will spread unto all
I will be a legend,
Yet a legend that has left her mark when she collected all those hearts
I won’t ever come back,
Because this war with myself, to protect myself,
Won’t save me
Until I save the rest
And both can’t be kept
I’ll go away
I’ll go away
I won’t ever come back
That is my dream,
I have saved the world
But the world has not saved me

Autobiography

I can’t see what others want me to believe
But I envision how I want myself to be perceived
I’ve been longing for that restitution
From the world’s loss of time, that lack of solution
My body is tired of fighting for the world to understand me
The blind man knows the truth, even when he can’t see
My skin is scarred from the gashes of their lies
But I’m back and I’m still standing, call this my uprise
Rest assured that your beauty will never fade
But what would you do if it had never been made?
At times, these storms have consumed my mind
I’ve lost a part of myself that I never knew, I guess that’s what I’m still trying to find
It hasn’t given me a break since the day that I started
But I knew the reason why as soon as we parted
My heart contains endless plates of steel
And then sometimes I wonder why it’s so hard to feel?
I’ve built myself up so high, even to the sky
I’ve touched the clouds and have gone so far, even to feel them cry
I’ve given them hope for matters that seem the most unwilling
The dreams, those passions, the things that I’m still in the process of fulfilling
I’ve watched every aspect of the world constantly change
It’s been so long that I’ve seen every pattern rearrange
I wish someone would have told me that love wasn’t simple
But it has left such a deep mark in my soul, label it my dimple
So, I suppose life is the puzzle, and we are just the pieces
However, without one, the other’s importance just decreases
On this earth, nothing will ever be new
The hard truth is, is that you will never have a debut
There isn’t enough time to be conceited
You can’t see your face twice, even if everything in this world is repeated
I’ve been longing for some kind of definite understanding
To complete those wondering souls that are so demanding
Everything in my life happens to be so contradictory
I’ve lost without winning, an unannounced victory
At times, they call on me to use my wings
Her voice propels my flight as she softly sings
His warm embrace entangles all of my emotions
Like a witch's brew mixed with all the eclectic potions
Slowly, I make my way into the unknown
Invisible hearts have been neatly stitched together and sewn
I’ve pressed my face against the glass to see my reflection
My flaws have aligned themselves to show my imperfection
In the end, I see the image of man striving towards vanity
And a single dream has raced against time to change humanity