That I’m fighting to fill
Whether it’s in the world or if it’s in my heart
I have been in so many wars
With myself, just to protect myself
From all the distress
I’ve seen the hearts of many
I loved them, each in a different way,
But when the disillusionment seeped
From my pupils, and into
This abstract pulsating entity,
I could see it all, I could feel it all
They didn’t want me to see
They didn’t want me to hear the words that boomed
From their insides like thunder raging through the clouds
Sometimes I wonder how I still know how to love
Sometimes I’m proud of myself
And other times, I am ashamed
Ashamed that I love hard
Ashamed that I see the heartless creatures roaming around
In search for one to crush
And I naively, leave my heart resting on my sleeve
It’s almost as if something in me gives me an unlimited supply of hearts
Each time, one is destroyed
And I hurry to pick up the pieces myself,
A new one is formed
But something tells me that one day there aren’t going
To be anymore waiting for me
There aren’t going to be anymore to help me hide the pain
I can feel it
Some days, my heart beats slower than it used to
I have concealed all that I felt once broke me
Into some kind of reliquary beyond these smiles and hopeful eyes
When that day comes
My wrath will unveil itself,
From behind that beautiful curtain
Oh, and what disillusionment there will be
I will spread my flaming fires unto them
I will mount mirrors up everywhere
That show their true reflections
I will break the bad bones of their fathers and mothers
That are to blame for the way they feel, for they way they express
What has been buried in their genes
And once everything is in a favorable position
I will shatter into pieces and my love will spread unto all
I will be a legend,
Yet a legend that has left her mark when she collected all those hearts
I won’t ever come back,
Because this war with myself, to protect myself,
Won’t save me
Until I save the rest
And both can’t be kept
I’ll go away
I’ll go away
I won’t ever come back
That is my dream,
I have saved the world
But the world has not saved me
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