Infinity

Hold my breath

Count to infinity

All I hear is the silence

Of the heart beating beneath me

The loss of these fabrications

Do not seem to resonate

Dreaming, dreams that only seem

Like realistic allusions

Close my eyes

To spy the darkness that besieges me

I see no one

But that is reality

Loneliness is another image of my sanity

Insanity, I reverse the order of my thinking

Don’t believe me? Well, no one does

I can’t prove the presence of the souls

That swim in my eyes when I’m alone

But I could tell you that the stars have never aligned

That the trees have never swayed

That today would never be tomorrow

But never are the next woulds

And woulds would become coulds

And coulds could become shoulds

And then it all stops

I am left nowhere and somewhere

I’m standing in some sort of swirling

Mass of life that gravity cannot control

These people pull at me

Shoot me

And I fall

And then I stand

And I fall

And then I stand

And then they all disappear

And the next thing I know,

I’m sitting on a white la-Z boy

Telling the shrink,

What she wants me to think

So, next I’m a fabrication of her sanity

Maybe the better word, is of her humanity

And I’m trying to fathom what I cannot be

Because what I could be, is marred by what I should be

Then what I would be, but never what I can be

Because she says I’m living in-sanity, within the world’s vanity

Blinded by the darkness that crowds me

 Still holding my breath, because I’m counting to infinity